Just today I saw a news report about how some Christians “ransacked” a newspaper office after a derogatory image of Jesus was published. Reportedly, a newspaper owned by the unofficially Christian son of the chief ministry, carried a picture of Jesus holding a beer mug and a cigarette. The news story goes on to say that Christians “they barged into the offices and ransacked the furniture.”

It was shocking to read that now Christians have resorted to this kind of madness, usually seen and associated with Hindu fundamentalism.

I don’t care what the problem was, even though it is wrong to present ‘religious’ figures (in such an emotionally charged atmospheres) negatively. However, it was, is and will be entirely wrong on the part of Christians to respond to such misrepresentation using violence.

I feel the “Christians” involved must even be put behind bars as an example to all communities and parties involved in violence. These people are not fighting for Christ, they are clearly fighting for themselves and Indian Christianity must distance itself urgently from such events.

This also reminds me of how one lecturer from UTC, Bangalore thought it wise to explore the idea of “Just Violence,” saying that there may be a place for that. It was perhaps equally shocking because here was an intelligent man who was saying things he had no idea about; at no point in history has violence ever solved anything. It has only led to more blood-shed.

The last act of bloodshed a Christian can accept was the blood of Christ shed on the cross; after that event, it is the Christian who bear the cross, and can never legitimately crucify others.

There is no such thing as Christian “just violence;” no such thing as a Christian jihad. Whether Christians are in majority or minority… they have no legitimacy from their religion/faith… to follow the path of violence. (ps. destroying Muslim middle east in the name of God is WRONG)

Gandhi’s Satyagraha was inspired by Christ. Why are fewer Christians inspired by Christ in this regard?

I am upset and angry about this act… and I believe feelings of anger are not wrong because we are not called to be passive vegetables. However, to express that upset-ness and anger through violence or hooliganism is uncalled for, a corruption of the Christian faith.

Please, please, please… stop this madness!

To see the image in a blog that calls for Christian reaction, see here.

it’s true. Watching the Asia Cup, and watching the 20/20 stars perform or not perform, there is plenty of talk about how 20-20 batsmen need to change their game to adapt to the “longer” version of the game, to show more patience and build an innings. similarly there are calls for more stability and maturity… all said/asked about 5-day Test Matches in comparison to One Day Internationals (ODIs) not too long ago.

This is ironic… but still I think there’s plenty of cricket to go around… meaning… suddenly there is a new appreciation of the “intelligence” behind ODI players… and the call to grow into mature cricketers. similarly, strategies need to be adapted accordingly. Making the ODI watching experience all the more fun.

What does all this have to do with theology? Nothing really, but what the heck! Sport (cricket) is fun!

(ps. I’m so glad/relieved that India made it to the Asia Cup Finals. Now all “we” need to do is WIN IT!)

Well, BJP finally got what they wanted… a majority. And while that is actually a surprise (in that I didn’t really think they’d pull it off), congratulations to them for doing so. Congress really needs to figure out what is going on with their party… and I think they need a good dose of healthy ideology (unlike the anti-full-national negative divisive ideology undergirding the BJP (read Arya Samaj, RSS etc)). Yes, I don’t like the BJP, but I agree with most of their criticism of the Congress, especially that the Congress currently is vision-less, and leader(s)-less.

Anyway… so that’s that.

What I’m really happy about… and was not surprised to see other Congress supporters happy about too… was the devastating loss of the JD(S) which was not unexpected. Oh, it’s great to see the father-son nexus (Deve Gowda and Kumaraswamy) lose! They deserve to lose after such dirty politics they played.

Of course BJP won partly because of the sympathy vote, but the sympathisers failed to remember that JD(S) first betrayed Congress to join hands with BJP. So why were they surprised that JD(S) betrayed them???

Anyway, now we have a new BJP government… and in this blog I can personally guarantee that things will NOT become better! For the common man at least.

That’s my cynical two bits.

Well, hopefully this will be the last update in this series “The Problem of Pain”. But from my past experience, who knows! The reason for my partial optimism is that I went to the hospital few days ago, with much fear and trembling and a lot of prayer (that I would not need surgery). Anyway… the doctor met me and said that I didn’t need surgery and instead dosed me with very heavy antibiotics which is what I am currently taking.

Interestingly, even before I started taking the new medicine, I had started feeling better (am I psychosomatic???) and I have a feeling that I am getting better (Of course I am cautious when I say this).

This caution, however, is not a lack of faith. Because my faith is not that I AM HEALED, but my faith is in GOD THE GOOD. ie. I believe in God, whether he heals me or not. Too often, I am tempted to trust in the healing, or ask for healing alone, when actually I have seen through the journey of pain that I need to continue trusting that only God can heal (using whatever means) and he will never abandon me, whether I am healed or not.

Long story, short… right now I am feeling much better, praise God!

Do I feel foolish, or am I foolish? Because right now, my “pain” which I thought I was healed from, has returned… with a bang… and it’s quite serious. So much so, I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and I may have to undergo surgery, the very thing I feared!

Do I feel God has abandoned me? The moment I think that, I think of Job. Man that guy must have really suffered… and I confess that my pain is not that bad, and yet I do not want to forsake God, because I’m pretty sure that he has not forsaken me.

Still, it is really frustrating that this pain has returned… almost like sin itself! Can’t fully get rid of it.

Without recourse to much theology, today I beseech God to really heal me. Completely. Please Lord, heal me.

Just yesterday I went to my local police station for the address verification for my passport. Thankfully the experience/ordeal (related below) is over, for now.

For a long while I was postponing going to the police station for the passport address verification because I knew the passport clerk would make me feel terrible about not knowing the local language (Kannada, I speak Hindi and English) and also he would make me wait and wait and also that he would ask me for a bribe. Then, I had an epiphany. Why not simply pay an amount like about Rs. 100 as a tip for a job well done, something like that. My rationale was that I do the same for cab-drivers, or waiters (though the amount varies depending on the service), so why not here? Regardless, I decided not to fight the bribe issue. And suddenly I felt much better; more relaxed and was able to approach the police station (otherwise I would have delayed even further).

Then, just before I went, I had a conversation with my wife about this. And she obviously (obvious if you know my wife) felt my compromise was wrong. I agreed. But I said that it was a personal battle as well, not just a moral battle. I was really scared, but now I feel better. I also said that her condemnation of the act as “wrong” was too generalised because there are different wrongs… ie. people paying bribes to get ahead is so much different than paying a bribe to avoid confrontation.

None of my explanations were meant to explain away the situation… but I know personally… I’m a little more comfortable with being ethically wrong than my wife…

Of course, yesterday morning my wife and I prayed, and we prayed that the Lord’s will be done, and the Lord will direct our path. In my heart, as I prayed, I knew that I was willing to pay the money, and yet I was willing to pray this prayer.

Come the time to meet the passport clerk, and this is what happened.

First he told me to sit down and took ages to find my file. He seemed to be busy with something else and was even shouting at a lady police officer (who was being used as a secretary, I think).

Then, he eventually found my file and asked me the usual questions. He then gave me a form, which was in Kannada (and I have no idea what it said) and told me to get four photocopies made from a near-by photo-copy shop outside. I walked to the shop and wondered why four? But still I did what he asked.

I returned, and the clerk was busy doing something else… and it was clearly not something related to my work. I gave him the form, he made me sign on one. And I realised he wanted the other forms for other people who will be coming for passport address verification (I was basically doing his work).

I waited for a long time again, and finally he said the procedure was over. But gave me a glance suggesting “over.” I wasn’t sure, so I asked him to be clear. And he said, yes, it’s over. you can go. As I got up to leave, he asked me, “Fees?” which in this terms clearly means a bribe, because there is no fees to be paid at the police station and I said…

…flashback…

this is what I was thinking all along, while sitting waiting for the clerk. I was at peace for a while, but during my time at the station, I felt a little taken advantage of. Clearly the job was simpler, but the man had no respect for my time, nor did he seem to have respect for others. After realising the form I photocopied was not for me alone… I felt that this man was actually looking for freebies. And worse, I noticed that he was delaying, at the end of the process, waiting for no one to be around him. I don’t know if it was a nexus that before he finished all the people around him cleared off… but I know that he seemed to be doing inane tasks just to bide more time… so…

(end of flashback)

As I got up to leave, he asked me, “Fees?” which in this terms clearly means a bribe, because there is no fees to be paid at the police station and I said… “Will I get a bill?” And he said nothing. And he said again “fees”, with a half smile. And I said, I can’t give him something. He told me to sit down. “Oh, uh!” I thought. And again he delayed. And then asked again, “Fees” And I told him (a lie) that the college I work for will not allow me to pay anything that does not have a bill, because it is (and this is true) a Christian college. He didn’t seem too happy and and reiterated, I’m sorry I can’t give you anything. And he literally threw my form on top of piles of paper and I left, saying “Thank you”.

Reflection

Now I’m not trying to say that I’m a saint. Clearly I (even though I’m a Christian) was willing to pay a bribe to just get out of the situation. And I know that is wrong. Then, when the strange chance came to say no, (for which I’m glad I did), I said “no” for the wrong reasons (For the way I was being treated) and then I said it in a wrong way, I lied about the reasons why I can’t pay a bribe. This is a clear indication of false ethics… for true ethics.

Yet, in all this, I know that the Lord was in the situation… and I was praying really hard… and I’m still praying really hard… (asking beyond my ability)… that there will be no glitch… even though I don’t deserve this grace from the Lord. I know I don’t deserve it, I surely am not a paragon of virtue here… but I hope that through this system, my papers will still be passed and approved… in time… in His time.

I’m a growing fan of Derrida. Now this is not a presumptuous statement; as if to suggest I understand him. It’s just that as I delve more into his understanding of “religion”, I am coming to understand that in a simplistic sense, I agree with a lot of what he is saying. The following are a few quotes from his interview with Yvonne Sherwood and Kevin Hart, in Derrida and Religion: Other testaments.

…God is not some thing or some being to which I could refer by using the word “God.” The word “God” has an essential link to the possibility of being denied. On the one hand, God is far beyond any given existence; he has transcended any given form of being. So I cannot use the word “God,” I mention it. It is a word that I receive as a word with no visible experience or referent.

This comes back to what I said about prayer. When I pray, if I say “God,” if I address God, I don’t know if I am using or mentioning the word “God.” It is this limit of the pertinence of the distinction between mention and use which makes religion possible and which makes the reference to God possible… What are we doing when we name God? What are the limits of this naming? Now we know that in many Abrahamic traditions God is nameless, beyond the name. In Jewish traditions, God is the empty place, beyond any name. But we name the nameless. We name what is nameless. And when we name “what is not,” what is or is not nameless, what do we do?… To mention the word “God” is, in a certain way, already an act of faith. I’m not sure that there is pure faith, but if there is it would consist in asking the question, “When I use the word ‘God,’ am I referring to someone or mentioning a name?” (37-38)

What do I understand from this?

Well, keeping in my the principle of deconstruction; which simply put, begins by questioning the relationship between the word (language) and the referent (object), by stipulating that when we refer to a “glass” we are actually referring to a word “glass” or even the concept (again words) denoting “glass” rather than actually representing the actual glass… it thus makes sense to say that when we say God we don’t actually “have” God but refer to the word God.

And yet, through the act of faith, we believe that our use of the word “God” actually refers denotes God himself, and not just names God, but also “calls” him (another Derrida thought, later in the same interview).
In effect, Derrida is not questioning whether God exists, but questions our use of the word God and yet accords it much possibility when combined with faith in the nameless God who allows himself to be denoted (named) by our idioms, names.

Tomorrow’s headlines will feature huge-catchy-sensationalist headlines (like the one above) informing the Indian public that there were multiple bomb blasts in Jaipur. There will be death tolls, gruesome photographs, suspects, complaints about how the government is not doing enough, possibly international outrage and the quest to fight against terror, possibly some Islamic voices decrying the event saying that Islam is not about violence, possibly some Hindu reactions against the violence and wrongfully targeting minority (read Muslim) communities. There may also be many organisations, both Christian and secular, wanting to help… and suspected if they do help (ie. are you trying to convert etc). There will be red-alerts in various cities. There may be a few arrests. But certainly, after a few days, this headline will cease to be important and we’ll move on to the next big thing… perhaps even the IPL finals!

Personally, I have a special bond with Jaipur, so this event does matter to me. Earlier when I had reported about how one Christian pastor was targeted, it also affected me because I knew the pastor who was targetting personally. I’m thankful that my own grandmother and father (who are in Jaipur) are safe, and yet… the city is certainly a city I love and recognise. And it is certainly shocking and horrifying what happened… and what led to this horror.

And yet, I must say, that to sensationalise terror, for news for a few days, for criticising governments, for putting down minority communities, feels wrong. Grossly wrong. There is pain, struggle, violence… and we must fight against the things that bring evil in our midst.

But there is a pattern emerging about how communities and governments respond to what is now termed as “terrorist” violence… it is familiar, and extremely political. And everyone seems to be wanting to get a few points ahead with the crisis.

I would rather that people, even the people who were most affected, will support each other, that we will work together to erase enmity amongst ourselves and not give into anti-community, anti-government rhetoric. Perhaps, something what Mumbai is known for… bouncing back as a community… together (Mumbai is probably the best example of positive community resurgence. Gujarat is probably the worst!). Hopefully, Jaipur, my city, will be able to bounce back fast… and well.

May God bring peace and comfort to the afflicted.

There’s nothing (overtly) theological about this post… but still… today Bangalore lost it’s IPL encounter with Punjab and is almost effectively ousted from the tournament (ie. no semi-final berth for Bangalore).

Why should I bother about the fact that Bangalore (not even India) lost yet another IPL cricket game today (against Punjab).

Could it be because I’m living in Bangalore right now?

Or because I like Dravid, Kumble and co.? (I really do!)

Or is it because somehow we support underdogs? (even though they only win in fairy tales)

Whatever the reason, it’s evident that Bangalore is NOT making it to the IPL semi-finals. That shouldn’t be a surprise, actually… but still, that’s the truth, and it hurts!

Of course I wonder whether it is healthy to care about sport. After all, it’s not as if “I” or something directed to “me” is playing.

But then, why do I cheer for “India” when it’s actually a BCCI team (in international cricket) that is playing. Even if it is “India”, it isn’t actually “India” that’s playing, but a bunch of over-paid average-talent sports stars. Why should I care?

Christianity Today carried a story on sports… (American Football) and whether it is appropriate for Christians to participate in sport.

All I can say, right now, is that Sport does lead to a lot of waste of time… and it feels really bad to lose, especially that’s when the wasted time really feels wasted…

but if we win, whatever “we” is… the joy, the elation, is so great, that the time wasted doesn’t seem wasted… because it is an experience shared with a larger group of people… gives us something to talk to… feel good about… to share.

Right now, however, with Bangalore’s loss… I’ve wasted a lot of time… and there’s absolutely nothing to “share”!

Just today on the day of elections I read a huge ad in The Hindu promoting some BJP candidate… and I suddenly saw how attractive it is to be in the opposition. If you’re not in power, you can always look good. You can make your alternative sound pleasing… and fool (yes literally fool) the people that you will actually bring about change. I know as a fact (cynicism notwithstanding) that if the candidate comes into power, none of the promises will be adequately met and the blame will go to something else, not himself!

The same excuse goes when you’re in power, like the Congress or JD(S) were. When the Congress or JD(S) were in power they would try to point away from their failings, and then point to some minor or different success… and for their failed promises they will say that they need more time. Whatever!

The BJP candidate in this context is literally “selling” dreams… promising things like fixing roads (which is now a standard for all Bangalorians), and even helping “education and health” (what does that mean!!!) along with 24 hour transparency (through helplines if you please!) to a host of other normals that should have been existent, but never fully will.

But I realised the folly of all this, when our household help told us that she’s voting for a particular party because they promised that they will give them land (what rubbish!, but that’s what she was told). When we asked her whether she actually believed that she would get land, she said probably not. But “it would be nice.”

In effect, it really looks like people will believe whatever crap is dished out to them, because of “hope”… because they hope that things will get better for their lives, even though they secretly know that things will not.

I’m not a Congress supporter, but I know they’re less worse than BJP and JD(S). But that still doesn’t make them a party worth supporting. But in this monster that we call democracy… where actually each person’s reasons for voting is not really ’sensible’ to the next, it really brings in a lot of disillusionment.

One thing I do know… however… that because God (yes, yes, the true God) is not a God of a particular region, but of the entire world, God is not above all this. And in my belief, God is actually watching, helping, and even overseeing the entire process. I remember thinking today that God would even be waking people up, urging them to vote (perhaps).

God is not afraid of the BJP or the Congress or the JD(S) (eeks… what a choice)… but because God is in control of the overall purpose… God knows that in the end all things will turn out good. And that’s the hope I want to hold on to… that’s the promise I will latch on to.

I actually still want Congress to win… (WHY??? even when I know they are soooooo corrupt!!!… is it just because I believe they are less worse??? I guess it’s because I hate the majoritism jingoism of BJP… who do exactly what the congress did (with minoritism)… but play it more dangerously see Gujarat, Rajasthan)… and claim to represent majority while actually creating a deeper wedge in the nation… (what we need is binding not dividing… but BJP just (intentionally) tried/tries to use this divide for its advantage… only the party that breaks of of majoritism or minoritism will actually have my true respect…)

Yet, I know that even if Congress does not win, and even if BJP wins, or there’s a hung parliament… I hope that horrible JD(S) politics is something to be forgotten (remember how they left Congress and then partnered with BJP and then BJP pretended to be the hurt party when they actually assisted in the break of faith with the previous alliance… what hypocrisy!!!)…

Even then I need not fear. Because truly… Romans 8:28 and so many more places point out that it will all turn out good… for good.