(An adapted form of this skit was performed at the Gospel Church thanksgiving service (29 June 2014), in Bangalore. The target audience was mainly people who did not take Jesus seriously enough in their lives).
ONE NIGHT, WHILE WATCHING TV: A SKIT
One: Has the football match started yet?
Two: Put it on, let’s check.
(TV has some people playing football)
One: Hey it’s football!
Two: Don’t get too excited. It’s not live, it’s a recording. Put it off.
One: Let’s just check what else is there.
Two: (changing channel)Music video?
(TV has a dance scene)
Two: (changing channel) Movie?
(TV has a fight scene)
Two: (changing channel) Documentary?
One: Oh, not at all.
Two: Hey I’m not able to change the channel. Battery must be dead.
One: Please not a documentary, anything but a documentary.
Two: I can’t change the channel.
One: Try the button on the TV.
Two: It’s a special TV. The buttons only work through the remote.
One: What documentary is it…
Two: It’s about Jesus.
One: Oh, please, no, switch it off. GOD please switch it off.
Two: That’s funny.
One: What’s funny?
Two: You said, “God please switch it off”… and Jesus is God. So you’re telling Jesus to put off the TV programme about Jesus.
One: Jesus, God? Well, that’s what you believe. I don’t believe such things.
Two: Anyway… since there’s nothing else to watch, let’s just watch this.
One: No, please… let’s just leave the TV on and go out and watch a movie or something…
Two: Look, look… here’s an interesting story…
ON TV: (on tv the story of the adulterous woman is enacted)
Jews: Master… this woman was caught in adultery. The law says that we must stone her. What do you say?
One: Adultery… what’s adultery?
Two: When a married man or woman get involved with another married man or woman.
One: What’s the big deal… this happens all the time.
Two: Yes, but God doesn’t like it.
One: Oh, since Jesus is God… is he going to punish the woman?
Two: Let’s see…
Jesus says, “Let the person who has not sinned cast the first stone.”
And everyone leaves.
Jesus: (to the woman) Go and sin no more.
One: So is Jesus saying that adultery is ok?
Two: No, I think he’s saying that we should not condemn other people… and I think he is also saying that he can forgive.
One: Oh, big deal! What does this have to do with real life. What does this have to do with me? Please, check if the battery is working… change the channel.
Two: It’s still not working. Hey look, the next scene.
ON TV: Story of the paralytic man… where Jesus says, your sins are forgiven.
One: This story is funny. I’m sure that the man wanted to be healed and when Jesus said “your sins are forgiven” he must have said, “What! I want to be healed, not forgiven!” So weird.
Two: You don’t think YOU need to be forgiven?
One: Me, forgiven? Not at all.
Two: Meaning you’re perfect.
One: Me, perfect? Of course not. Are you?
Two: Well, not exactly.
One: So, see! We all have problems, I don’t think I need to be forgiven. All this sin business is bakwass (nonsense). It has nothing to do with me.
Two: Hey look another part of the story.
ON TV: Crucifixion… the two murders on the cross beside Jesus.
Jesus (ends with): Today you will be with me in paradise.
One: Do you think that man would go to heaven just because Jesus said so.
Two: I guess so, and I’m sure that it helped that Jesus told him that before he died.
One: See, that’s what religion is all about. It’s something to make us feel better when we’re going through a difficult time.
Two: So which is better?
Two: Which is better? To die while making fun of Jesus, or dying while recognising that Jesus is better than you and admitting that you need God.
One: Hmm… I guess the other thief/murderer is better because cursing someone on the cross… especially a person like Jesus… isn’t really a nice thing. Anyway this has nothing to do with me. Is the story over already?
Two: Hey what happened to the TV?
One: Oh good, its working? You’ve changed the channel?
Two: No no, it’s on, but the story of Jesus has suddenly stopped showing on TV. There’s no picture.
One: What, it must be the remote, check it. (they hit the remote to test it)
TV: (is blank). Suddenly Jesus (the character who played Jesus) appears in the room.
Jesus: Hi guys.
One: This is a dream, this is a dream. One horrible dream.
Two: How could you come out of the TV. This is like a horror movie.
Jesus: You asked, what does this mean to you… So I wanted to tell you that I’m alive.
One: I can see that. Now please go away, so I can wake up. You’re freaking me out.
Two: Are you really, here, Jesus?
Jesus: Yes, I’m here. I am really here, with you, right now. I want to tell you that I’m the same Jesus who can heal the sick, I’m the same Jesus who can forgive sins, and I’m the same Jesus who died for you.
One: Go away, go away, leave me alone.
Two: (speaking to One) Why are you telling Jesus to go away?
One: Because it’s freaking me out. He should not be here.
Two: Do you know that if Jesus is truly God, then he is here, whether you can see him or not.
One: Ya ok, but I’d rather not see him right now. Please tell him to go away.
Two: But why? Do you have anything to be afraid of? You said you don’t need to be forgiven.
Jesus: (speaking to One)You don’t need to be forgiven?
One: No, no… that’s not what I meant. I meant that we have all done bad things, so I’m no worse than anyone else.
Jesus: You’re right.
One: I am.
Two: He is?
Jesus: Yes, all have sinned and fallen short of God.
One: So that means you’re ok with me, I don’t need to be forgiven?
Jesus: That’s not what the Bible says, it says that while all men have sinned and fallen short of God… we can all be forgiven because of what I did on the cross. I died for you.
One: You died for me.
Jesus: Yes, I died for you, so that you can be forgiven.
Two: You still feel you don’t need to be forgiven?
One: (speaking to Two) Shut up.
One: Not you, Jesus. Sorry… I mean… I mean… I actually need to be forgiven. I was scared to ask.
Jesus: Ask and you will receive, my friend, ask for forgiveness and you will receive it.
Lights go out. When the lights come on… the two are sleeping. And suddenly One wakes up.
One: What, what, what… what happened?
(It was a dream)
One: Huh, what’s happening? Oh, phew! It was a dream.
Two: (waking up)What was a dream?
One: I was dreaming that I saw Jesus on TV and he came to life. I mean he was alive and he was saying that he wanted to forgive me.
Two: Oh be quiet and go back to sleep, otherwise I will not forgive you!
(Two goes back to sleep, while One thinks for a while and then goes back to sleep. Lights out). End.